I now have a quasi-legitimate Music blog. It's at the following URL:

Ifoughtthelol.blogspot.com

If you thought that joke was clever, wait til you see the other joke I put in the blog.

Feel free to leave as many comments as you like, i'm still forming the structure of it all.

http://lbunion.com/blog/585
I'm kind of out of it, and I sound stuffed up and slightly retarded, but here 'tis: The 1st Union Musicast.

It's about an hour long, and near 40 minutes in I do a kick-ass Interpol impression.

Check it the most.

I. Quit. Everything.

( I answered a craigslist ad for a singer in a cover band. )

"Your Ex-Lover Is Dead"

God, that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said, "Yes, I think we've met before"
In that instant it started to pour

Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of that time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
You tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
And now you're outside me, you see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

It's nothing but time and a face that you'll lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news
From the house down the road from real love

Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back

There's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

I've been struggling a lot with my recent breakup but I've finally accepted that it is, irrevocably and undeniably, over. And this is strangely comforting. Now I have plenty of awesome memories and another lesson in how not to form a relationship.

I think that the notion that "I've never fallen in love" is starting to crack in a very startling manner. It seems like maybe I actually have fallen in love, but I do it so easily it doesn't seem like it. That probably doesn't make much sense to anyone so let me try and rephrase it without using any words that begin with L. When I start seeing someone, I don't actively try and make it anything serious, but it seems that way because of the way I act (I think). I try and be as affectionate and supportive as I can, and I think maybe that comes across as overbearing or controlling or weird or suffocating or maybe just generally unnecessary. When I start a relationship, I usually do so because I want to spend just a shit-ton of time with that girl. I mean, if I didn't want her to be a significant part of my world, I wouldn't really bother with all of the work that a relationship requires. We'd just be friends or just hook up or whatever without any requisite adjustments to anyone's facebook profiles. 

In another news, I should probably learn how to lj-cut so people don't get these fucknormous entiries in their friends page. Oh well. Next Subject: Cancer!

So this cyst/tumor in my face (the doctors like to call it a cyst, which is actually just a nice word for tumor, which is actually just a vague medical word that's taken on very grave connotations) has caused me a lot of pain and i'm almost out of pain medicine. So if anyone knows any doctors of ill repute who'll write me a prescription so that I don't have to call up my other doctor and cry on the phone about the screaming pain, I'd be most appreciative. I'm not holding my breath though.
I visited my maxillofacial (jaw bones) surgeon in sacto last week and he was pretty tight-lipped but said we had to get it out. Then they'll biopsy it he said and "Usually these are completely benign." My guts hit the fucking floor. Until that point, the idea that this could be anything really life-threatening simply was not on my event horizon. And then, with 5 words, I was convinced I was going to die. I mean, really, you can't say it's "99% not going to kill you" and expect me not to hear "there's a chance this will kill you." So, although it's completely outlandishly not going to happen, i've been very much haunted by that 1% chance for the last few days. What would I do? What could I do? It's all crazy. Luckily, until a short while from now, i'll be able to keep these thoughts at bay with drugs. After that, I'm welcoming suggestions. Next subject: SN&R

I sent a pretty killer resume and cover letter to the Sacto News & Review and i'm waiting to hear back if they received the clips I sent them as well. I'm really excited about this job and I want so badly to get it that I think I'd probably club a small child a few times if it meant a guaranteed offer letter. Cross yer fingaz.

I don't really know how to express my sadness over Kurt's death, but i know how not to do it. I've been doing that since i found out. I've cried, I've drank, and I've quoted him incessantly while wishing I was dead too. Maybe I could finally meet him.

"A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved."
Kurt Vonnegut, 1922 - 2007

Go ahead. Imagine it.

In other worlds, I just got back to LB after a long and arduous trip to the doctor involving the thing that's growing in my face which i would like to have excised immediately. (I'll talk about this another time, as it's a much deeper issue for me than I feel like putting down) They gave me Vicodin. I have taken one at the time of this writing. I have also worked on my application for Associate Arts Editor for the Sacramento News & Review. I've thought it over and there's only a couple things which I think i'll miss to such an extent that I'll actually lose sleep over it. But it'll definitely put me in position to be an editor anywhere i want, so i'm going to pursue it. I give you now a meme which i stole from Miss Cherene. It involves ten bands. Here are mine:

1. The Blood Brothers
2. !!!
3. Radiohead
4. At The Drive-In
5. Buck 65
6. Muse
7. Murder By Death
8. Morrissey/The Smiths
9. Smashing Pumpkins
10. Thursday

What was the first song you ever heard by 6? [Muse]
"Time Is Running Out" on the radio. Aren't I terrible?

What is your favorite song of 8? [Morrissey/The Smiths]
It used to be "Frankly Mr. Shankly" then it became "This Charming Man" but now i've settled on "Life Is A Pigsty" just because it's soooo fucking harsh.

What kind of impact has 1 left on your life? [The Blood Brothers]
I think more than anything they've given me the sense that there can be a very distinct and cool aesthetic in simply being weird and open to strange things. Not to mention a lot of sick sick songs which have very much affirmed my belief that the world is a beautifully dastardly place.

What is your favorite lyric of 5? [Buck 65]
"Flowers in the rain, wild fires in the orchard. Singing in the pain, I beg to feel tortured. Sugar and chaos, everyone else is boring; Let's make dirty babies until the morning. Love sick how much deeper still can this get? Show me where it hurts and let me kiss it. Je joue à l’envers de l’amour étroit, Je jouis le mystère de l’amour courtois." --"Drawing Curtains," Secret House Against The World

How many times have you seen 4 live? [At The Drive-in]
Never. ACK!

What is your favorite song by 7? [Murder By Death]
"Brother" from In Bocca Al Lupo, that song rocks my world reeal hard. It makes me want to start a folk rock band specifically to do that one song.

Is there any song by 3 that makes you sad? [Radiohead]
Rather than snarkily remark that there are too many to list, i will actually list them: High And Dry, Just, Street Spirit, Nice Dream, Talk Show Host, Fake Plastic Trees, Climbing Up The Walls, Motion Picture Soundtrack, Karma Police, Lucky, Exit Music, Scatterbrain, How To Disappear Completely, Life In A Glass House, & How I Made My Millions. I think that's all of 'em.

What is your favorite song by 9? [Smashing Pumpkins]
"Perfect" - One night on my radio show I led this pretty girl up to the speakers on the second floor of the student union where the louder speakers were and we danced and I sang into her ear so she'd understand the words. Cute, no?

When did you first get into 2? [!!!]
Seeing them at Coachella was like a baptism of dance-fire. The rest is history.

How did you get into 3? [Radiohead]
I went to summer camp as a kid and the counselor i idolized was a fan of theirs and had just bought their new album OK Computer, I entertained him and his friends with my Thom Yorke impression (developed from watching the video for "Just" waaay too many times). I got my parents to buy me the album and I've gone through three stereos since but I still have that disc.

What is your favorite song by 4? [At The Drive-in]
"One-Armed Scissor" still shocks me with its energy.

How many times have you seen 9 live? [Smashing Pumpkins]
Never. ACKx2!

What is a good memory concerning 2? [!!!]
ALL OF THEM.

Is there a song by 8 that makes you sad? [Morrissey/The Smiths]
"Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want" fuuuuuck. Every time i play it i tear up.

What is your favorite song of 1? [The Blood Brothers]
"Every Breath Is A Bomb" really amazing song. I just love the whole lyrical theme "Can you knit love's tender touch back into the gangbang? Can you knit the stiletto back into the bloodstain? Can you put the fight back into the beast you've broken, tied and tamed? Can you crease the wrinkles back into the cracked and open brain? So doctor, won't you pull the plug? won't you cut the cord? 'cause you can't put the life back into this hospital ward." So big. So fierce.

How did you become a fan of 10? [Thursday]
Ian Michell told me to listen to them, and since he was also a fan of At the Drive-in I took his recommendation and went to see them play at the Bottom of the Hill in SF. They're very inspiring.

Today I removed someone from my myspace friends because they went bulletin-crazy.
I don't take no shit!

Today I thought my jaw was broken, but i couldn't find my health insurance card. I had to call all these places but eventually I ended up going to the ER. There, i was forced to endure extreme waiting until finally i got x-rays taken. Turns out that nothing was broken, i just have a tumor in my face. It's just chilling out in the bone on the left side of my upper jaw. They also decided not to prescribe pain meds.

 I need a rock n' roll doctor.

"And if it sounds stupid to say that all the world needs is a little more love... then how come it's so hard to figure out?"

wtf !!!, a slow song with heartfelt lyrical content? swweeeeet.